David Martin dusts off his Fedora and sharpens his finger knives in preparation for NOES 3. 1,2 Freddy’s coming for you…
The third NOES film is my favourite of all the Krueger films as it perfectly balances dark humour with some tremendous gore filled sequences. The films after this one were slowly moving too far into comedy and the storylines really weren’t as gripping. Robert Englund is clearly having a lot of fun as he faces off against a rag tag group of teenagers, the Dream Warriors of the title. Nightmare on Elm Street 3 has always had a special place in my dark heart as it is one of the first films I watched as a teenager and started my love affair with all things Freddy. Ive decided that writing a straight forward review of the film is so old, Fedora, hat that I’m going to write a kind of tongue in cheek homage. sort of thingy.
Kristen Parker wants to build a model house and as the film opens she is gluing endless lolly sticks together. But wait, this isn’t just any model house, its the Krueger house and this is really not going to end well. Clearly Freddy isn’t impressed with her half arsed designing and rewards her diligence by slashing her wrists. As is always the case, Kristen’s parents go ape and promptly dispatch her to the local mental institution which houses many other teens who are haunted by Freddy. The adults in the Nightmare on Elm Street series are always head slappingly stupid, you’d think that they would believe what their kids are telling them. Especially as it was them that burnt Freddy in the first place and its their fault he’s all full of beyond the grave rage and angst. Oh look there’s Nancy, from the first film, sporting a lovely new white stripe in her hair and looking like a skunk has wipes its bottom on her. Must have been the stress of Freddy repeatedly trying to massacre her and she’s still grieving for the loss of Johnny Depp, bless her. Nancy calms Kristen down who is, understandably, unhappy with the enforced sleep that the staff are trying to inflict on her. Enforced sleep in a NOES film is a death sentence people, get with the program.
 |
| CUT! |
Nancy is introduced to the other in mates and what a bizarre group they are! There’s Phillip who is a skilled puppet maker and award winning geek boy, Kincaid a behemoth of a kid who thinks with his fists and very little else, Jennifer is a muppet of a girl who takes her coffee without water and wants to be star, Taryn, ex druggie and girl with a serious attitude problem. Joey is the strong but silent type and so traumatised by Freddy that he doesn’t speak, whilst Will is a wheel chair bound kid as a result of a failed suicide attempt. Nancy lets the kids in on Freddy’s back story and is assisted by Head Shrink, Neil who is discovering more about Freddy himself. He is visited by the mysterious nun, Mary Helena who informs him that Freddy’s bones need to be laid to rest on sacred ground. Freddy isn’t just a pissed off, burnt, dead dude with a finger knife fixation, oh no, his problems are far worse than that. He is the bastard son of a hundred maniacs as his mum was accidentally locked in the tower with a bunch of lunatic, deranged, criminals. I’m starting to feel sorry for him now and I would be fairly unphased by the kids that are starting to band together against me. Nancy is raising an army and hits on the hair brained idea of group hypnosis, well its harder for Freddy to get them when they are together. Each of the kids develops dream skills and all are convinced that Freddy can be taken down. Oh poor deluded fools, bring on the death sequences.
Freddy has already got rid of puny puppet boy Phillip by stripping his veins from his legs and arms and walking him off a high roof. Jennifer finally gets her break and is inserted, head first, into a television screen by Television Freddy. Freddy is all about divide and conquer and he lures Joey away with a very attractive nurse who seduces the poor kid. The remaining teens join together and enter dream land in support of Kristen who has been drugged and faces certain death. Great idea, except this is Freddies world and he divides them and dispatches druggie Taryn (What a buzz!) and Will. Freddy is getting stronger with all the souls he has devoured but he is vulnerable and has to protect his bones from burial. Nancy is fooled by the appearance of her father and is fatally stabbed by Freddy, as she dies in Kristen’s arms you cant help but shed a tear. As is always the case with NOES films, Freddy’s never completely gone and I love the final scene where we see the light going on in the model house. Sequel anyone?
 |
| Kids these days just don’t have soul |
What makes this Freddy outing a step above the rest is the vicious humour that Freddy uses when he dispatches anyone. He’s like an undead, wise cracking version of himself and the film is better for it, I love the original NOES but it was much more straight horror. Carving “Come and get her, bitch” into Joey’s comatose body is a slash of genius and it is Freddy that pulls the strings, in Phillip’s case literally. Watch out for the huge Freddy worm that tries to devour Kristen at the start of the film, its so over the top but its just brilliant. NOES 3 is all about glorious excess and is very much at the top of the great eighties horror films. The dream sequences are nightmarish and brilliantly executed with a story line that really does engage and you never get the impression that its another Freddy cash in, which isn’t something you can say about the following films.
Join us tonight as we watch Nightmare on Elm Street 3 and enjoy Freddy as he does what he does best, this time with added humour.
Follow David Martin on Twitter as @ventspleen2014
Photos from nightmareonelmstreetfilms.com
Leave a Reply