REVIEW: DEATHSTALKER

| REVIEW | Lisa Fremont |

• Director: Steven Kostanski
• Writer: Steven Kostanski
• Stars: Daniel Bernhardt, Patton Oswalt, Christina Orjalo, Paul Lazenby, Nina Bergman

Alright, TV Babies, here’s a trivia question that you won’t find on Jeopardy.

The 1983 film Deathstalker and the 1985 cartoon Care Bears share one thing in common:

What is the writer, Howard R. Cohen?

Howard R. Cohen worked with legendary filmmaker Roger Corman for twenty years, churning out such gems as Time Trackers, Saturday the 14th, and Deathstalker, while also writing for numerous cartoons that live in the hearts of many a Gen X’er. While no one, absolutely no one, was clamoring for a remake of Deathstalker, there is truly only one writer/director who could take on such a task: Steven Kostanski. The man who brought us The Void and Psycho Gorman has done the impossible. He made Deathstalker into a film with an actual storyline, likable characters, and female characters who wear clothes, have bodily autonomy, and are treated like people.

Deathstalker (2025) starts out with a bloody decapitation and never lets up for its entire run time. Starring Daniel Bernhardt (John Wick, Atomic Blonde) as the titular character, the film immediately lets you know it’s here to deliver 80’s-era sword-and-sorcery exploitation, and it is not fucking around. If you fancy Clash of the Titans (1981) as a “good” movie, then you will be blown away by this slice of Conan the Barbarian celluloid.

Bernhardt is perfectly deadpan while fighting a two-headed troll, saving a wizard from a locked chest, and using his map that has locations such as BEER, BUGS, BAD: DO NOT GO on it, while also being a true badass who fights anything and anyone on his quest to break a dark magick curse and face rising evil. Blood, guts, and gore galore are just a few of the delights Kostanski brings with his makeup and prosthetics background.

Cinematography, stunts, costume design, and practical effects are all top-tier, especially considering it looks like they had a budget of 30 bucks. Deathstalker is a throwback on almost every level, except one. This movie is actually fun to watch for all of the right reasons. While the 1983 original is, essentially, a movie with no costume budget and seems to delight in glorifying rape, the 2025 film is a true adventure story with unlikely friendships, legit battle scenes, and actual heart. Is the movie good? Sure. It’s good in the same way that Army of Darkness is good. You’re either the audience for it or you’re not. And if you are, you are in for a treat, because this is some of the best 80’s trash-cinema nostalgia to come out in ages.