SIN (AKA Bloody, Bloody Bible Camp) – A Love Letter from Lisa

Lisa pens a love letter so heartfelt that Nicholas Sparks is writing a novel based on it….

Dear Sin, When I first stumbled upon you, you were titled Bloody, Bloody Bible Camp and there was absolutely no way that I could resist you. Brought up in the church while secretly devouring 80’s horror movies, you were, clearly, made just for people like me.

Now the good people of the U.K. have been blessed by your existence, albeit, under the name of Sin. Clearly influenced by all of the Sleepaway Camp’s, Friday the 13th’s and Porky’s films of that decadent decade known as the totally tubular 80’s,Sin is a wickedly fun, exploitative send up of all that is holy and unholy.

We are given the usual set up of a group of horny teens travelling to a camp in the middle of the woods with only one thing on their mind; sex. Or in the case of Sin, sodomy is the preference because it is O.K. by Jesus. As one of the girls says, “back door is always open for Jesus.”

Oh, Sin, I suppose at this point, we should warn people that this is not a movie for the easily offended. If you do not care for religion based humor, then this is definitely not the movie for you. For those of us with a sick, twisted, dark or combination of all of these, sensibilities, Sin is what the older people like to refer to as a real knee slapper. I love that the gore starts immediately and never really lets up. No drop of blood was spared in the making of Sin. I will never tire of watching Sister Mary Chopper (yup, that’s her name) wreak havoc on Happy Day Bible Camp with decapitation, evisceration and some really clever methods of dispatch with her crucifix/weapon of contrition. I want one of these crucifixes’ with a knife on the end and I want one right now!

Oh, Sister Mary Chopper, I just love you. I love your ill-fitting habit and your ineptness at stuffing a
bra. I still know all of the words to those Sunday school hymns; let’s hang out, sing some songs and then kill some sinners! One of the greatest things about you Sin is that you are an equal opportunity offender. No religion, race, gender or sexual leaning is safe from your critical, witty eye. Hey, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason and what fun is life if we can’t laugh at ourselves once in a while? Even better than this, though, is the lovely lesson we are taught by Jesus himself; Ron Jeremy. Yes. Ron Jeremy.

Before I leave to watch the wonder that is you for the bajillionth time while enjoying some wine coolers (because “Jesus is cool with wine coolers”), I would like to commend you on your use of actresses with natural breasts. I own them and I still forgot what they look like after all of these years of horror movies assaulting me with the silicone ones. Horror is known for its ubiquitous and unnecessary boobie shots and I truly, truly appreciate that you have real women in this movie. No, no, no, I am not saying women with surgically enhanced breasts are not real women; it’s just really refreshing to see real breasts that are really found in real life. Keeping with the time period of the film, you even went the extra mile and have given us what I believe to be the Best Performance By A Merkin Ever!!

Sin, I love you for everything that is offensive, silly, gross and just downright bad about you. All of the actors did such a fantastic job of acting “badly” and really just jumped right in and had a great time with their characters. Seriously, this is some of the best bad acting I’ve had the pleasure of giggling at in a long time. I love that you are obviously low budget and you make no apologies for any of your shortcomings. You truly are a gory barrel of monkeys and I hope the U.K. loves you as much as I do.


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