Seeing as how remakes are never something that anyone is clamoring for, it’s most perplexing that someone would choose to take on what most people consider the worst movie ever made. Personally, I think the Lindsay Lohan debacle I Know Who Killed Me is the worst movie ever made and Plan 9 From Outer Space looks like Oscar bait compared to it, but that’s just me.
Ed Wood’s 1959 classic is best known for being Bela Lugosi’s final film and for being, well, pretty terrible. Terrible in that really awesome way that you loved as a child, though. Despite it’s endless flaws, the film certainly has it’s charms and it seems a pretty bold move to try to improve upon this kind of gem. Movies that are loved mostly due to nostalgia do not need to be revisited because you’ll never be able to recapture that special feeling of the original, however, it seems that writer and director John Johnson would disagree with this sentiment.
As the self proclaimed Patron Saint of Remakes, I was 100% open minded to this and became more excited after viewing the trailer. The trailer for this film is pretty awesome. Full of action, cool music, walking dead, gun fights and a summary of the entire plot, it’s really all you need to watch because the film just doesn’t live up to it’s own hype.Adding an extra twenty minutes to an already stretched out storyline did the film absolutely no favors and just made it start to feel like an exercise in patience. The original Plan 9 came in at a lean hour and nineteen minutes and I think we can all agree that was more than enough. So, what constituted the extra time? Mostly, unnecessary boobie shots, overacting and some gore. Clearly, it was the intention of Johnson to add the required boobs and blood in an effort to update the film while trying to remain cheeky, but it just doesn’t play. It simply feels tacked on. The gore was certainly welcome and is in plentiful supply. There is a particularly wonderful moment where someone is stabbed with their own leg bone and it’s rad. As far as the overacting, that can only be intentionally done well by very few people and I didn’t see any here. I really, really wanted to be on board with this movie, but it’s just too long and, at times, it feels as if it isn’t sure if it wants to be a comedy or a serious B horror film. This is one of those times when throwing too many things into the mix just doesn’t work out and that’s unfortunate. That being said, I do, indeed, look forward to more features from Mr. Johnson.
Lisa Fremont
Twitter: @lcfremont
Images: IMDb
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