TV Recap: AHS Freakshow – Pink Cupcakes

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@lcfremont discusses pocket pets, even more pop culture refs & the economics of keeping Matt Bomer for a year…

I think we can all agree that the conclusion to the Edward Mordrake episode was a bit of a reset button on the show, so, what did they do with this second chance? Well, they allowed for some of the characters to be more than just one dimensional and peripheral, but they also tried to pull a “Lost” and throw in flash-forward scenes. This is where live tweeting allows me a very specific insight into how the episode is being perceived. Most people were confused by the flash-forward scenes and became extremely confused when Seal Boy and the twins were, in fact, not dead. For every viewer who understood it was Stanley’s vision, there were three more that did not catch onto that and it took away from the episode. Come on Murphy, everyone knows that you have to change the lighting or hairstyles or SOMETHING to indicate that this is a scene in an alternate time line. You are already expecting people to accept so much as it is; sometimes you’ve got to throw a dog a bone.

Let’s get Elsa’s diatribe regarding television out of the way, shall we? “I would rather be boiled in oil than be on television.” This coming from the mouth of an Academy Award winning actress on a television show. How clever. Poor Elsa was not well received by the crowd who came to see the freaks. Miss “I’m not one of them” may want to rethink her strategy because the David Bowie song ain’t cutting it with this crowd. Even getting dolled up to the always catchy Bowie tune, “Fame” didn’t give Elsa enough pizazz to turn Stanley’s eyes away from the twins. Elsa’s hunger for fame is going to be the death of her and anyone in her way.

Stanley is just a guy who wants to kill some freaks so he can get paid for the specimens, but you know what is really abhorrent about him? He has gay magazines! Jupiter, Florida has an inordinately large problem with homosexuals and freaks; both morally and statistically. Seriously, how does a town that hates anything and anyone different end up with all of these alleged shady characters? Perhaps they have no problem looking the other way because this seems to be a town built by wealthy people. Apparently, the extremely affluent are afflicted with a sickness caused by inbreeding in the vain attempt to protect the family money. So, it’s totally cool that Dandy is a homicidal maniac; he just can’t help it. Ms. Mott also went on to explain that Jack the Ripper was a Windsor, but we all know the truth now. Jack the Ripper was a hairstylist and as a hairstylist, I say, “Of course he was!”

Dandy just wanted to be an actor. If his mother had only allowed him to express himself, he wouldn’t have killed the legendary Patti LaBelle. Clearly, Dandy’s favorite movie is American Psycho as illustrated by his homage to the film while exercising and talking about himself. If you’ll remember, I found the Elsa snuff film to also be influenced by Bret Easton Ellis and I can’t quite pinpoint why this irritates me. In every episode of Freakshow there are multiple references to other films, books and television shows; this is not immediately a negative, but perhaps the fact that it’s always so obvious is what perturbs me. Even the most casual pop culture observer would have said, “Hey, it’s like American Psycho!” when Dandy did his chest oil routine.

AHS Freakshow sceneDandy then went on to pull a “Cruising” (an excellent Al Pacino movie that you should see) moment while Bryan Ferry played over the action. Again, for a town that doesn’t care for “poofs”, they sure do have a swinging scene. I said it last night and I’ll say it again: poof just sounds like some sort of pocket pet that I need to own. A hedgehog, a sugar glider, a poof…I’ll take one of each. Dandy then takes his new found toy to his stabbin cabin where he fails miserably at killing him. As he recites lines that eerily mirror a scene from You’re Next, he simultaneously pulls a Jesse Pinkman and puts limbs into an acid bath. Hope you used the right chemical,yo. Oh yeah; Dandy also narrates what he’s doing in an effort to explain what a capable murderer he is. Hmmm…..where have I seen this before?

Well, Matt Bomer is cuter than any pocket pet I can imagine so I can see why Dell is so in love with him. Oh yeah, Dell is gay and if you didn’t know that already, I do not know what show you’ve been watching. The only women he has been with had either a beard or a “dingaling”.

Ah, but it is not a dingaling (here’s to hoping we don’t have to use this word anymore) it’s just an enlarged clitoris. Yay for Desiree! She can have a child because she is all woman. Not a child with Dell, though, because he is the root cause of Jimmy Darling’s lobster claws. Was it really necessary for Dell to go and attack that lovely doctor? We already hate him enough as it is; he really didn’t need to go and hurt that wonderful, accepting, non judgmental man to cement our feelings towards him.

Just when you were wondering where the delightful Gabourey Sidibe is, she calls asking after her mom. This allows for Ms. Mott to explain why she is a terrible mother and try to make us understand and/or care. Dandy is just crazy. Don’t blame him mom; that’s so passé.

So, what kind of shenanigans will Dandy, Bette and Dot get up to? I can see them all getting along, or at the very least, somehow team up in a bizarro Nancy Drew/Hardy Boys way to uncover the truth about Stanley and Esmerelda. At this point, nothing is beyond the realm of plausibility.


Bette, off course you love Dina Shore. This is a Ryan Murphy show.

If it only costs $20 to take Matt Bomer home, how much to keep him for a year?

So, Dandy just walks home in underwear and blood and no one notices? I may need to move to Jupiter.

Lisa Fremont

Follow @lcfremont of twitter

Article first published on

Images: IMDb &

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