As we enter the second episode of Death Valley, more time is spent in the past with Ike, however, he is now the former President of the United States. Apparently, there was a time jump because JFK is the sitting president and he knows nothing about the treaty that Ike made with the aliens. While last week’s episode was a nice throwback to The X-Files, this one feels like The Lone Gunmen and I don’t mean that as a compliment. Basically, it’s a grab bag of conspiracy theories: aliens and the government, JFK and Marilyn, Marilyn was visited by an alien when she was young, JFK was assassinated because he was going to end the treaty with the aliens, Amelia Earhart was never missing, but rather, she gave birth to an alien baby and, the wildest one of all, Mamie Eisenhower was not only credited with adults celebrating birthdays, but she was also taken over by an alien. And then conspired with Richard Nixon to make Ike continue the treaty. It’s a lot.
But there’s more.
In present day, our four Gen Z’ers are driving to an obstetrician’s office to see how far along they are because their stomachs are quite large despite just being impregnated. They don’t go to the emergency room because they will have to answer too many questions. Instead, they are going to Jamie’s OB/GYN because she’s discreet and this is the real mystery in the episode: how did Jamie get an appoint with an OB/GYN on such short notice? Anyway, her doctor does an ultrasound, freaks out and then the Men In Black magically show up, shoot the doctor and take the kids to some secret facility where they get to magically float and take a nap.
Kendall wakes up and has a conversation with The Chemist. At least, I assume it’s The Chemist because that’s definitely Angelica Ross under that Xenomorph nun get up. She tells Kendall that the baby growing inside of her is hope for the future. She tells her that she’s been chosen and it’s her opportunity to save an entire planet. Kendall feels sassy and says,”Save earth by populating it with four armed freaks?” to which the chemist replies, “Who said anything about saving Earth?”
Later, Kendall finds herself in what looks like a community theatre version of Defending Your Life. Steve Jobs is there and so is Calico who was a Vegas showgirl that ended up in the hands of the aliens and she is an annual contributor to their baby making scheme. Apparently, most people are one and done, but some get to do it every year. Like The Handmaids Tale, but with aliens and better lighting.
Troy’s time is up and he’s going to have his alien baby. The Chemist shows up and while he can’t stop screaming about how the baby is coming out of him, she goes on about the future and says, “Life must find a way.” It’s no Jeff Goldblum, but she does take off her head covering to reveal that she is an alien hybrid, which is pretty cool. Troy screams and I assume his baby pulls a chest burster.
Overall, the episode felt like a lot of fluff where not much happened, but that’s not the case. The timeline of Ike and the aliens is about a decade before the events of Asylum. If you’ll remember, Kit’s children were taken by aliens and lots of experimentation was done at Briarcliff. The aliens’ planet is dying and they need to assimilate life on earth in order to survive and, clearly, they have been doing this for quite some time, all with the help of the U.S. government. They give us technology, we let them have 5,000 humans to do experiments on and it looks as though Kit and Alma were some of the unlucky few. Is it possible that everything is starting to tie together? Maybe, but this is AHS and anything can happen.
Sidenotes:
-Aliens gave us microwaves, so that’s nice.
-Take a shot every time Troy asks, “How is this baby coming out of me?”
-It was nice to see Leslie Grossman playing a non-asshole character. And she’s right: Circus Circus is hell on earth.
-Angelica Ross’ alien fingers look super cool.
Lisa Fremont
haddonfieldhorror.com 
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