Haddonfield’s X-Rated Xmas – Black Christmas (2006)

Why director Glen Morgan felt compelled to remake the classic film “Black Christmas” is beyond me, but he did partner with the original movie’s screenwriter, Roy Moore, and the result is pretty good. Many regard the 1974 film as the very first slasher film and with good reason; it still stands up as a really great, suspenseful horror film. I always go into remakes with an open mind and none of the vitriol that a lot of people seem to have for them, however, having just watched the original, I had to REALLY dig deep to accomplish that.
If I hide behind this tree maybe my agent won’t find me and make me do another remake
Rather than just give us a glossy new version of the original, Morgan and Moore expanded on the backstory of the man dispatching of the ladies of Alpha Kappa sorority house. His name is Billy and he grew up in this house, but he had a traumatic childhood that consisted mostly of living in the attic. Then one Christmas day, he comes down from the attic, eats his sister/daughter’s eye and makes cookies out of his mother’s flesh. Yes, you read all of that correctly. Billy spends some quality time at the local looney bin, but he really wants to go home for Christmas, so he escapes and returns home to what is now a sorority house full of young women. Well, this is perfect because Billy really needs to get some murdering out of his system after being locked up for so long. The kills are clever and fun. I especially enjoy the quick and dirty one that comes early on involving a bag, a Christmas ornament and some proper eye gouging. I’m not sure if there is some sort of symbolism (and I don’t care) regarding the amount of eye damage done in this film, but it’s a hoot to watch. Seriously:nobody’s eyes are safe.
Christmas just wouldn’t be complete without some festive eye-gouging
This is a fun, little holiday terror ride. It’s not trying to be better than it’s predecessor, it’s just out to give a good scare, shed a little blood, gouge some eyes and treat us to a pretty awesome impalement. This movie certainly isn’t award worthy and I wouldn’t use the word suspenseful anywhere near it, but it’s an  enjoyable slasher film. Black Christmas 2006 knows what it is, knows it’s place and doesn’t get out of line by trying to be intelligent or terribly clever and, in this case, I say that as a compliment.
Deck the halls with, erm, severed heads, fa la la la la la….

Review by Lisa Fremont

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