Recap: American Horror Story: Hotel E01 S5

It’s mildly off putting to see Schwartz of New Girl looking like a 90’s Boy Band reject, but it’s a whole other thing entirely to see him brutally raped by the Addiction Demon. Do not adjust your television set: you just saw a man get raped by a demon wearing a conical metal dildo. It was not alluded to or shown in the periphery. This rape was 100% visible in the mirror across from the bed and it was awful. Fans of Nip/Tuck are still scarred by The Carver raping Christian Troy years ago, but that was a fairy tale compared to what we saw on Hotel. Oh yeah. Sarah Paulson makes her debut in this scene as Sally, but it’s really hard to concentrate on anything besides the GUY BEING RAPED BY A DEMON. Kudos to Max Greenfield for his performance in this truly ugly scene.

Utilizing rape as a plot device is something that is all too common these day and while I understand what Murphy is going for here with the demon/rape analogy, it’s unnecessarily gratuitous. Murphy explains it away by telling EW, “He is a representation of that and what people go through fighting addiction,” explains Murphy. “It’s not done lightly or blithely. I think it’s very powerful and strong.” To each, their own.

Ooh! Did I just hear someone call for Liz Taylor? Well, you could have pushed me over with a feather when the brilliant Denis O’Hare made his debut. Cleopatra wishes she was as fierce as Liz Taylor in those towering heels. It appears that Ms. Taylor has a unique insight into people and it will be very fun to find out what her backstory is. I think we can all agree that Denis O’Hare always has the best characters on this show and his absence was a gaping hole in Asylum.

And here it is: the moment we have all been waiting for. The Gaga! Just like Catherine Denueve and David Bowie in The Hunger, The Gaga and Matt Bomer are a tragically beautiful couple who could only be introduced via a gorgeous music video. Really, it’s a crime how handsome Bomer is and that is why it’s totally believable that he could easily lure another gorgeous couple home with him for an impromptu orgy. Come on, who wouldn’t go home with these two? I’ve never been ashamed to admit to being excited by hot guys covered in blood and anyone who doesn’t find the female body beautiful is straight up cray-cray. This orgy was simply gorgeous and a perfect way to introduce The Countess and Donovan.

Did someone ask for backstory on Detective Lowe? Well, here it is. He and his wife, Alex, (Chloe Sevigny) suffer from the heartache of having their son, Holden, abducted from a fair. After seeing the super awesome room that the vampire children live in, one can only assume that Holden was lured away from his family by candy and, really, who can blame him? Conveniently, Alex needs a break from her husband because he is a constant reminder of Holden, so he goes to stay at the Hotel Cortez. Shall we take bets on how many episodes until John realizes that it wasn’t a hallucination when he saw his son in Room 64 when the clock turned over to 2:25?

Remember when I said Iris was no nonsense? Well, she’s got our tourists chained up and she’s about to feed them a decidedly unappetizing concoction of foods that are full of nourishment while she also lectures them on abusing drugs and alcohol. So, it’s no surprise when we learn that her backstory involves following her son (Bomer) to the hotel only to be too late to save him from a drug overdose courtesy of Sally. Like any good, protective mother, Iris pushes Sally out of a window to her death. We also learn that they feed people in order to make them more palatable to The Countess. Paging Dr. Lecter.

When Detective Lowe is lured into a mansion, he is greeted by a shadowy figure wearing a trench coat and hat. This visual is straight out of Se7en and it was so distracting that I didn’t even care about the two eviscerated bodies hanging from the ceiling. Also ,why don’t kids listen to their parents anymore? I would have never left that cop car. Scarlett, perhaps next time you’ll listen to your father when he tell you to stay put.

Hooray for Marcy from Murder House! In fact, the entire introduction of Will Drake ( Cheyenne Jackson) and his son was a wonderful throwback moment to that season. Drake is a fashion designer who is non plussed by the curious nature of the hotel and it’s inhabitants. This bodes very well and I’m excited to see what kind of trouble Will and The Countess get into together.

I have a tendency to give Mr. Murphy a hard time because I expect a lot from him after falling in love with Nip/Tuck so many moons ago, but he really delivered some exceptionally gorgeous camera work on this episode. Outside of his inability to not consistently borrow from other films and television, he does always give us entertainment that is impossible to ignore or debate about at length. AHS Hotel’s first episode more than delivered on the promises of it’s teasers and I am excited to check in and see what else happens. Can I stay in Room 64 with Detective Lowe?

Sidenotes:

In fairness, a hotel located within 10 miles is “close”, but in L.A. 10 miles is ten days of your life on the freeway.